Main Street: May I add something?

I'd like to add something to what the pundits are saying. They all agree that the nation is polarized and angry. Some leaders are happy for this because they can use the inter-group distrust/hatred to gain power. Some leaders recognize that this is not good, although they seem like old-fashioned snake-oil salesmen in proposing remedies. 

Here's what nobody is saying, and I'd like to add: We are polarized because of seven decades of policies that sundered the physical integrity of our environment and altered our social connections. Through McCarthyism, urban renewal, deindustrialization, mismanaged epidemics, gentrification and other disruptive policies, we have destroyed the "weak ties" -- the social bonds that connect us across differences -- pushing us to solidify into groups defined by our "strong ties." Such groups are driven by "self-centered fear" -- fear of losing something they have or not getting something they want -- rather than broad solidarity with all living beings. Such solidarity requires the connections of weak ties. 

Seventy years.

Destruction of weak ties.

Crystallizing into strong-tie groups built on self-centered fear and radiating anger and resentment. 

This leaves us in a dire state. Most important, in this new state of social organization, the groups are not even thinking along the same lines. The psychologist Dr, Wade Nobles illuminated this process in the 1980s, during the start of the crack cocaine epidemic, as what he called a "drug culture" emerged within the Black community. The "drug culture" did not share the values of the traditional African American culture. For example, the "drug culture" focused on "I," while the traditional culture focused on "we." 

An example that my colleagues in public health find astounding is the rejection of vaccines. These have wiped out many infectious diseases that killed people in the past. The vaccine skepticism of people who will be leading health agencies in the Trump administration shocks us. 

If, however, we think of this line of reasoning as the emergence of a new culture that differs in values and has, at the core of its operation, managing self-centered fear, then we can follow the conversation and we can understand that disputes between groups crystallized around strong ties are very, very difficult to resolve. The terms of engagement don't exist.

This leads us to the urgency of rebuilding connection and the profound question of "How?" 

This may seem like a non-sequitor, but bear with me for a moment. I've been watching K-drama for almost four years. I have noticed that a daily dose of those stories has given me a new way of being in the world -- new patience, new interest in people, new calm. At first it seemed to me that each story was unique, differentiating K-drama from US soap operas. But having seen 60+ K-dramas, I realize that there is a way in which the K-dramas flow from one to another, creating a form of continuity. From that point of view, I've been watching K-drama for a bit more than 1001 nights. Like King Shahryar, my Scheherazade has tamed me -- aprivoiser in the sense of the Little Prince -- and I don't want to wake up mad. I just want to hear another story. We know that the King was driven to murder his wives by the self-centered fear of being betrayed again. But the fascination of "Wait, what happens next?" -- that is, curiosity -- opened his eyes and eventually permitted him to make a new relationship with the wonderful Scheherazade, who, by the way, was faithful to him through all those 1001 nights, even though her neck was potentially on the chopping block every night. I believe much the same thing has happened to me. K-drama made me curious and therefore re-invested in the world. 

What in the world, you might be asking, has either K-drama or 1001 Arabian Nights to do with the US polarization crisis?

The answer is this: there is a process by which groups diverge and adopt new cultural norms that drive their thinking. We can't fix the divergence by simply saying, "Don't you get that you're wrong?" And we certainly don't fix the divergence by claiming that one group has a mandate to impose its ideas on the other group. 

We can fix the polarization by taking a page from K-drama and the Arabian Nights:

• It is a slow process -- it takes time to re-form a shared understanding and shared trust.
• The process has to acknowledge the betrayals, neglect and harms of the past which created the splits. 
• The process has to set something in the middle that is shared -- something curious, something we'd all like to know. 

The "something in the middle" is the most complex part of this. An analogy might be that we have to wear protective glasses to look at the sun during an eclipse. Our two eyes can see the eclipse but might get hurt. We need the glasses to permit us to see. 

Friends and family watching the total solar eclipse 8.21.17 in Liberty State Park, Jersey City, NJ

The thing in the middle can't be a cultural product, as cultural products arise from the strong-tie groups and are part of the divergence. The thing in the middle can't be my most treasured thing or your most treasured thing -- universal vaccination vs. universal abortion bans. 

The thing in the middle can be an exploration of our neighborhoods and wondering if we have -- in the words of the ancient Chinese philosopher Xunzi -- put a good pattern on the world? A walk to see what's actually there -- many walks to see what's actually in a lot of places -- this is a thing in the middle that can lead us to a different understanding. There may be a fight that follows that, but it might be a fight that has a greater probability of saving our species and all that evolved with us.