Main Street: May I add something?

I'd like to add something to what the pundits are saying. They all agree that the nation is polarized and angry. Some leaders are happy for this because they can use the inter-group distrust/hatred to gain power. Some leaders recognize that this is not good, although they seem like old-fashioned snake-oil salesmen in proposing remedies. 

Here's what nobody is saying, and I'd like to add: We are polarized because of seven decades of policies that sundered the physical integrity of our environment and altered our social connections. Through McCarthyism, urban renewal, deindustrialization, mismanaged epidemics, gentrification and other disruptive policies, we have destroyed the "weak ties" -- the social bonds that connect us across differences -- pushing us to solidify into groups defined by our "strong ties." Such groups are driven by "self-centered fear" -- fear of losing something they have or not getting something they want -- rather than broad solidarity with all living beings. Such solidarity requires the connections of weak ties. 

Seventy years.

Destruction of weak ties.

Crystallizing into strong-tie groups built on self-centered fear and radiating anger and resentment. 

This leaves us in a dire state. Most important, in this new state of social organization, the groups are not even thinking along the same lines. The psychologist Dr, Wade Nobles illuminated this process in the 1980s, during the start of the crack cocaine epidemic, as what he called a "drug culture" emerged within the Black community. The "drug culture" did not share the values of the traditional African American culture. For example, the "drug culture" focused on "I," while the traditional culture focused on "we." 

An example that my colleagues in public health find astounding is the rejection of vaccines. These have wiped out many infectious diseases that killed people in the past. The vaccine skepticism of people who will be leading health agencies in the Trump administration shocks us. 

If, however, we think of this line of reasoning as the emergence of a new culture that differs in values and has, at the core of its operation, managing self-centered fear, then we can follow the conversation and we can understand that disputes between groups crystallized around strong ties are very, very difficult to resolve. The terms of engagement don't exist.

This leads us to the urgency of rebuilding connection and the profound question of "How?" 

This may seem like a non-sequitor, but bear with me for a moment. I've been watching K-drama for almost four years. I have noticed that a daily dose of those stories has given me a new way of being in the world -- new patience, new interest in people, new calm. At first it seemed to me that each story was unique, differentiating K-drama from US soap operas. But having seen 60+ K-dramas, I realize that there is a way in which the K-dramas flow from one to another, creating a form of continuity. From that point of view, I've been watching K-drama for a bit more than 1001 nights. Like King Shahryar, my Scheherazade has tamed me -- aprivoiser in the sense of the Little Prince -- and I don't want to wake up mad. I just want to hear another story. We know that the King was driven to murder his wives by the self-centered fear of being betrayed again. But the fascination of "Wait, what happens next?" -- that is, curiosity -- opened his eyes and eventually permitted him to make a new relationship with the wonderful Scheherazade, who, by the way, was faithful to him through all those 1001 nights, even though her neck was potentially on the chopping block every night. I believe much the same thing has happened to me. K-drama made me curious and therefore re-invested in the world. 

What in the world, you might be asking, has either K-drama or 1001 Arabian Nights to do with the US polarization crisis?

The answer is this: there is a process by which groups diverge and adopt new cultural norms that drive their thinking. We can't fix the divergence by simply saying, "Don't you get that you're wrong?" And we certainly don't fix the divergence by claiming that one group has a mandate to impose its ideas on the other group. 

We can fix the polarization by taking a page from K-drama and the Arabian Nights:

• It is a slow process -- it takes time to re-form a shared understanding and shared trust.
• The process has to acknowledge the betrayals, neglect and harms of the past which created the splits. 
• The process has to set something in the middle that is shared -- something curious, something we'd all like to know. 

The "something in the middle" is the most complex part of this. An analogy might be that we have to wear protective glasses to look at the sun during an eclipse. Our two eyes can see the eclipse but might get hurt. We need the glasses to permit us to see. 

Friends and family watching the total solar eclipse 8.21.17 in Liberty State Park, Jersey City, NJ

The thing in the middle can't be a cultural product, as cultural products arise from the strong-tie groups and are part of the divergence. The thing in the middle can't be my most treasured thing or your most treasured thing -- universal vaccination vs. universal abortion bans. 

The thing in the middle can be an exploration of our neighborhoods and wondering if we have -- in the words of the ancient Chinese philosopher Xunzi -- put a good pattern on the world? A walk to see what's actually there -- many walks to see what's actually in a lot of places -- this is a thing in the middle that can lead us to a different understanding. There may be a fight that follows that, but it might be a fight that has a greater probability of saving our species and all that evolved with us. 

Main Street: Election Day

There is nothing more Main Street than Election Day. 

When I was young, I used to go with my mother Maggie Thompson when she voted. It was a very friendly place and they had a "voting machine" that kids could use. When I first started voting, it was on machines much like that one. Practice makes perfect. 

I have voted for some wonderful people and on some fascinating issues. My favorite vote was YES on keeping the Guardian Statue where the sculptor had placed it, in a park by the Bay in Berkeley, California. The statue's purpose is to protect the city. The referendum passed and the Guardian is there, keeping the city safe.                                                                                   

Berkeley Guardian Statue by Fredric Fierstein

Today a friend in Canada forwarded a message from his friend in Erie, PA.

My dad Ernie Thompson is depicted in a mural about international labor solidarity for women workers. He believed deeply in that cause and it occasioned some of his best work. It is a gorgeous mural and I love the idea that my dad is watching over Election Day there. 

I was up early to vote -- actually I was up at 3am surely because I caught the national anxiety disorder -- and it was fun to go early and see the polling place busy and bright. I chatted with people I know only because it's where I vote and I try to vote in all the elections. We were all glad for democracy. I got a sticker -- I do adore stickers! -- which I will proudly put in my notebook as a reminder of this day's voting. 

I voted Kamala Harris for President, and I'm praying for our country. She wants to be a uniter, and we badly need uniting. As Tiny Tim says in A Christmas Carol, "God bless us, every one!"

Tao of K-drama: Resolving the "When"

I just finished watching "When the Weather is Fine" for the third time. While some shows might lose their charm on re-watching, so far, every time I've seen this show, I've liked it better than the last time. This time, in addition to appreciating the implications of the "when" in the title, I thoroughly enjoyed the subtleties of the soundtrack. Kwak Jin-eon's "Like a Winter Dream" is so profoundly tender and haunting, it works to set the tone for this show about people carrying unexpressed troubles and longings. 

K-dramas move from unadulterated trauma to restoration of relationships. In this show it is quite clear that Im Eun-seop is the Taoist whose non-coercion permits others to find themselves. And as they find themselves, he grows into himself, pushing himself to say what needs to be said -- for example, to tell his adoptive mother that he loves her. This "non-coercion" is quite extraordinary. I tell people what to do all the time, so I found it remarkable to watch someone not impose on others. Similarly, it is instructive to watch the ways in which non-coercion wins the day. A favorite quote from the Tao on leadership says:

When the Master governs, the people are hardly aware that he exists.

This is the path of Im Eun-seop. Of course, his non-coercion is joined by his love and his intelligence. The show teaches us this by taking us to his bookstore/coffee shop, a place we'd all like to have in our neighborhoods. There, a group a friends meet regularly for their book group. The grandfather of the youngest member grills food for them. The others read quite arcane works on various themes. It is never Im Eun-seop who is driving the reading, but it is his place -- the place he has created -- that offers time and space for such an encounter. 

At the end of the show, two things happen. First, Muk Hae-won returns to the village and sees Im Eun-seop. He asks her how long she is staying -- that is to say, "when" she is leaving. She laughs with joy, obviously not leaving again. And Muk Hae-won is able to write to the friend who had betrayed her trust in high school -- the one she pushed away in the opening scenes with the line "when the weather is fine" -- and say, "The weather is fine." 

We know, then, that we have reached the point of restoration. People have said what needed to be said, made decisions about next steps, and gotten on with the business of living. And no one says, "Wow, Im Eun-eop did a great job helping us all." That is the point, the Tao says.