Coronavirus: Sheltering for Seniors

Today, my doctor, Dr. Debra Goldson-Prophete, who is one of the best doctors in New Jersey, counseled me on COVID19.  She quoted Dr. Anthony Fauci, head of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Disease, who has been "Unbought and Unbossed" since the height of the AIDS epidemic -- a man I trust.  According to him, Dr. Goldson said, "People 70 and over -- well, you're 69 but same thing -- need to shelter in place for the next four months.  By that I mean, no church, no supermarkets, no malls, no large dinner parties, no little children."

First of all, I know that this epidemic is going to go on for a while, and I have said as much to friends and family.

Second of all, I know what applies to them applies to me.

But -- there's always a but -- I've been sheltering in my house since I got sick last Wednesday, which is to say five days ago.  It's been OK, but to hear that 4 months (or so) stretch ahead of me was a shock.  I was daunted by the prospect.  As a psychiatrist, I try to think positively and to find solutions. I knew that I was facing a "place problem,"  so I turned to the psychology of place.  I had a hunch that the clue to my issue was in the first (unpublished) book that I wrote on the topic, Moving Lines: Understanding the Psychology of Place.  It is a book of stories of people facing an array of situations and their efforts to manage their dilemmas.

Happily, the book was not in any of my storage units (which are reminiscent of the final scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark), but on a shelf in my home office.  In flipping through the pages, I was struck by how entangled we are with the settings in which we live, learn and work.  It is a constant and dynamic exchange.  Though we think in terms that indicate separation, it is interpenetration which is the order of the day.  That said, people have strategies for place problems, including strategies for "sheltering in place."  Naming such a situation is always a challenge -- are we imprisoned? on retreat? an extra long Sabbath? For me, "marooned" comes to mind.  In African American history, maroons were escaped slaves who went to live in isolated places, sometimes for years at time.  The word has a connotation of resistance and survival.

In Moving Lines I wrote about two stories of people marooned, stories that were remarkable in their similarity, though the events transpired decades ago and continents apart.  One was the story of 16 African American men who were sent to the Great Lakes Naval Training Center during World War II to be considered for promotion to officer status, the first black men to be so honored, the other of Israeli soldiers who were captured in 1967 and confined for two years in an Egyptian prison.*  Each group was sequestered, and had to find the way forward, facing danger on the one hand and honor on the other.  The methods they chose were remarkably similar -- even down to the language they used to describe they experiences --and included: having a goal to reflect well on their people, establishing democracy, identifying and employing all the talents in the group, and working hard.

Each group achieved success.  Among the accomplishments of the Israelis was that one of them translated The Hobbit into Hebrew so that they could all enjoy it; that work became an official translation of the book.  The African American sailors ensured that all 16 were able to be considered as officers.  Thirteen, known as the "Golden Thirteen," were promoted to officer.  In my first paper on the psychology of place, published in the American Journal of Psychiatry in 1996, I named the process these groups used "empowered collaboration."

Some doomsayers are suggesting that we will be forever injured by the social distance we must employ during this period of fighting coronavirus. But that is not what the psychology of place teaches us.  It teaches us that we are in a dynamic exchange with our place.  We can manage this retreat from daily life using empowered collaboration and exit sound in mind and with remarkable accomplishments.

We 70+ can lead the way, showing the nation(s) how to enact empowered collaboration.  I think these are the key steps for each of us individually:

1. No moping.  My father used to say to me, "You're old enough to know better."  Certainly true by now! 
2. Make a schedule.  Nothing gets accomplished that's not on a list -- a great exaggeration but these are extraordinary times.
3. Name your goal.  Who do you want to make proud and how?  
4. Get busy.  

I don't think it matters if you set out to mend all the socks in your house, improve your baking, or write a book.  What does matter is that you find your buddies, and you support one another in moving forward.  Your buddies don't have to be 70+ -- it could be your 17 year old granddaughter.  They just have to agree to the following:

1. Be a democratic group. 
2. Ask one another about your talents and share your skills.
3. Take it one day at time, and keep it in the day.

For my part, I plan to write a short handbook for my students in the next four months. If you are thinking you'd like to write a book, I invite you to join me via the University of Orange Digital Campus which we are setting up in the next couple of weeks. 

Join me.  I guarantee that, by using empowered collaboration, we can emerge from this managed retreat stronger than we ever were.

And I want to remind you that we are not staying at home simply to be safe ourselves.  We are the most vulnerable group and the hardest to save.  When we get sick, it takes enormous resources.  By staying healthy, we preserve the limited supply of health care for the younger people, as we should.  

*For those interested in reading more, check out: The Golden Thirteen and Seasons of Captivity.