Tao of K-drama: Where were you?

In the show, Because This Is My First Life, Yoon Ji-ho, the K-drama-writing heroine, needs to reset her relationship with Nam Se-hee, the man she loves -- she needs him to open up his "Room 19," And so she goes away for a few months. He develops the idea that she has gone to Mongolia and he suffers with longing for her. She reappears, ready to woo him on a new basis. He is shocked to see her suddenly and demands to know where she has been. 

"Insadong," she says.

"Insadong????" he replies. 

If I hadn't been to Seoul, I wouldn't have understood the shock of this. Insadong is a lively neighborhood near the historic center of the city, largely frequented by tourists. He would never have gone there, but it was literally a stone's throw away. It is NOT Mongolia. 

The actors play the scene brilliantly and I laugh out loud every time I see it. 

I once read The Tenth Month by Laura Z. Hobson, a novel about Theodora Gray, a woman who gets pregnant from an affair and decides to keep the baby. Because it is a decision unthinkable at that time, she plots to protect the baby from the stain of illegitimacy. She moves from the East Side of New York City to the West Side and after its birth "adopts" her own child. My mother Maggie Brown had the same predicament and moved from Jersey City, NJ, to Newark, eventually settling in Orange, where I grew up. 

In each case the woman -- Yoon Ji-ho, Theodora Gray, Maggie Brown -- was empowered by a reset of the situation. Yoon Ji-ho's thoughtful exploration of her own situation, and her clever solution, is heartwarming. At the same time, by showing her self-awareness and intellectualism, the show illuminates the writing of K-drama itself. It confirmed my hypothesis that the writers of these shows are literate and psychologically-minded, often with a very good sense of humor. 

The ancient Chinese philosopher Xunzi proposed that people have the agency to put new patterns on the world. By her reset, Yoon Ji-ho and Nam Se-hee are freed to define their own terms for love and marriage. "It's OK to make it your way," she tells us in a voiceover at the end. 

And that is lovely message as we stand at the threshold of 2025.